We’ve got something pretty great here, Kalamazoo. This loosely-defined yet tight-knit group of people who put together art and music events and publications is something that I try not to take for granted. This community offers Kalamazoo something different than the norms of society; something better than the monotony of a college town, or a low wage job.

I love this community for exactly that – the difference from overarching society.

That’s why I just wanted to say a few things about what can make a community like this really great. I’m not saying Kalamazoo necessarily lacks these things, in fact I don’t think we do. I just think that a group that is trying to break away from what really sucks about normative culture should better acknowledge just what sort of alternative we are looking for.

It’s great to see some genuine respect for those who are involved. At a show, this means respect for the bands – touring and local; the people who live at the house or run the venue; and the people who are attending the show, whether you know them or not. This applies to you, wherever you may fall on involvement. Bands should be aware that when they are up at a mic they have a larger control of the space than most anyone else in that room, and should pay attention to the things they say. People running a venue should try and not talk to people attending a show in a way that sounds authoritative or degrading. People attending the show should try and recognize the vast differences within the attendance population of a show, and realize that their actions and words will be perceived differently by a large number of people.

I say these things not because they are necessarily a problem in Kalamazoo, but because these are the sorts of things that should be considered by everyone involved in a community event space. Are you being respectful to those around you? Do you feel respected, or do you feel offended or unsafe? These are reasonable things to assess while you’re in a large group.

I don’t think these guidelines take away from the spontaneity or interest of the events that take place. I do think, however, that actions such as violence, groping, or flagrant hate speech would detract from the efforts of this community. Our normative society is all about being hateful, divisive, and marginalizing, and I personally don’t see a place for it here.

I fell into this community easily because I saw a group of people with a vast array of interests and ideals working together to have a good time and to appreciate art and music, while making friends. Had I come into this community and noticed a trend in violence, hate speech, sexual aggression, or an obvious marginalization of certain people, I would not have taken to this group. I imagine many people in this DIY community feel similarly.

On a personal level, I love that I can feel safe in this community as a female-bodied person, as a queer person, as a person of smaller stature, as a socially anxious person. However, that does not mean that I have never felt unsafe or treated with disrespect because of these things at shows. That doesn’t mean I have never heard other people express similar discomfort. We have a great community, but it’s not perfect, and can always be improved.

I say these things with the thought in the back of my head that much of what I’m saying is a no-brainer to most who read it. With that, people should not feel alone in the fact that the actions and words of other event-attendees (or hosts or bands) might have made them uncomfortable, and should feel that they are able to express that. If we as a group do not want hate speech at events, don’t let hate speech get off the hook when you hear it. Many other people probably have your back on this, and no one should feel uncomfortable calling out something that marginalizes certain people. If violence is making you uncomfortable, I’m sure you’re not the only one. We as a community can acknowledge that violence is unacceptable in this setting, and not allow it. All it takes is an understanding of the underlying values that go into a community like this. It’s not rules, it’s respect for your friends.